A Piece of Me!

Everyone always comments on how much Rachel looks like her dad. Sometimes I feel like people stare at me and then her and wonder if she's adopted. We look so much NOT alike. Well, a couple days ago Stephen pointed out one thing that is a definite "me" trait - the weird swoosh to the left thing my hair does on the back of my neck. It's a Cooklis family trait. So far I know of me and my cousin, Troy, having it and now we think Rachel does too. Check out the photos!

We met up with her friend Jonas and his mom for a day at the pool. We took some pictures while we were waiting. Isn't she just beautiful?

Rachel also showed off her "big girl push-ups" at the pool. She does them on command. I can say "big girl push-ups!" and she does it. It's so cool! She decided to ham for the camera...and then I guess she was tired of her push-up position because the last photo says it all.

Crawling Practice...

Two Knees Closer to Crawling

Well, this past Thursday Rachel decided to start doing big girl push-ups. Yesterday, she decided to co-ordinate pushing up with her arms and deliberately bringing her knees up under her. Before she would quickly bring all appendages in and push off backwards. She is now taking her time and staying in the hands/knees position for a few seconds before pushing. She has even pushed forward a couple of times, most of the time she goes backward. It's just so exciting! She also loves to give us "kisses." She'll grab our faces and bring her open mouth to our cheeks or nose and "kiss" us. It's the funniest thing ever! I know we taught her this because we've done it to her since she came home from the hospital.

The only bad news I have is that Rachel has an ear infection. This is her second one. I know some babies have had more but I was really hoping to make her first year with only one infection. Oh well, she'll see the ENT again in September and he'll let us know how he thinks she is doing after we get her hearing tested again. She may need to get tubes, which would be a real bummer.

Anyway, no pictures today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be quicker on the draw and get some of her in her new hands and knees position. :)

Helping with the Chores

She's Been Practicing...

Apparently, Rachel has been practicing while we haven't been looking or while she's been in her crib (and we thought she was sleeping!). She just decided today that she can push up ALL THE WAY. I mean, any further and she'd be on her knees. We are so proud of her!

10 Months Old! (almost 8 adjusted)

Today, 10 months ago, Rachel was born. Only two months until her FIRST birthday. Unbelievable. Today was also the last day Lisa from Early Intervention came to work with Rachel. Lisa has been a wonderful EI therapist. She has only said good things about our Rachel to us and if Rachel needed to work on something, she told us with a smile on her face. She never made us feel like Rachel wasn't the most amazing thing on this earth and since day one, Lisa has only been encouraging in helping Rachel progress with her skills. I know Rachel will miss Lisa as much as we will. Thank you so much for all you have done!

Some Days You Are Brave

I have always planned (well, since I knew she had Down syndrome) to speak out for Rachel. I have no shame in her having Down syndrome. I don't care if everyone knows she has it. I don't hide it. But, I've never said to a room of people, out loud, that my daughter has Down syndrome. Today at a Baby and Me yoga class we all sat around and had to introduce ourselves and our babies. As other people talked, I debated in my mind whether to even say anything. If I don't say it, will it seem like I'm ashamed of her? If I do say it, will that be all they see in her from now on? Person by person it got closer to my turn and I knew I had to decide. I decided to say, "Hi, I'm Maggie and this is Rachel. She was born 10 weeks early and we found out four days before that she has Down syndrome."  Wow, that felt good. I think that if people know she has Ds and they see who she is and what she can do maybe if they give birth to a child with Ds they will think of her and go, "Oh, this isn't going to be bad at all. I remember that girl from Yoga. She was cute and acted like any other baby." I want to save them at least some of the pain that I felt at hearing those words at the hospital. I didn't know anything about Ds. I never saw any babies with it before so I reacted the way I thought I should at hearing my daughter wasn't "perfect", I cried my eyes out and yelled at God. I think if I had been around another baby with Ds before she was born, I probably wouldn't have reacted as badly as I did. I'm only glad that I moved on from that grief stage quickly because it would have interfered with me being able to see the beautiful, goofy and strong willed girl I gave birth to.

Babbles, Teeth and Sitting

Over the 4th of July weekend two things happened. Rachel decided to actually start babbling consonants...babababa, dadadad, gagaga. Funny stuff! We have yet to really get a good string of them on video, but when we do it will be posted! It is so crazy to hear her say "words" and not just some sounds. Stephen already things she is calling his name: Dada.

Rachel also started teething. Hardcore. Before she liked to mouth her hands and she drooled a little but now, watch out, she will gnaw your fingers off if you get them near her mouth. She doesn't suck on her pacifier anymore either. She bites at it. I keep checking her mouth for any signs a tooth is poking through but I don't see anything right now. Ugh. Something better pop through soon because I don't want it to last months and months.

This Friday Rachel made a great effort at sitting. She hates to sit so the fact that she actually stayed in the seated position for more than 2 seconds was a major improvement. I am so excited! I can't wait until she can sit on her own...it will make bath time sooo much easier!

She got to use her pink bathrobe for the first time, Friday, after her bath. Isn't she just so cute? And because she is starting to be able to sit, I was able to get a picture of her doing it. Even if it's not the best "sit" it's still a new view of our girl!

I Tried to Just Post a Few Pictures...

But I couldn't decide on which ones. Really, I really tried to delete some but I just couldn't...and so, here is Rachel's First Fourth of July slideshow!

A Funny Thing Happens Once You Become a Parent

I was driving home from the Ds Mom's Night last Sunday and it was just me in the car. No Stephen. No Rachel. Just me. It's very rare when that happens now. I'm a pretty independent person. I relish my alone time. I need it in order to survive. Put me in a room with a bunch of people and I'll do quite well for a while but then The Wall hits me and I need to retreat. Ahhhh, do you hear that? It's quiet. The TV isn't on. Rachel is asleep. Stephen is out in the garage. Again, it's just me. Ahhhhhhh. On my drive home the other night, I was able to turn up my music, open the windows and sun roof and just drive. Drive, drive, drive! I felt like myself again. My old self.

That person never stayed in one place too long and was able to get up and do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I miss that person a lot sometimes. That "me" was a fun girl. Being a mom is tiring. I love it, but every once in a while The Wall hits me and I just feel that need to escape, to just leave for a bit and relax by myself, with my own thoughts, without worrying and always thinking one step ahead...."Ok, Rachel ate at 1 so that means she'll eat again at 4 and she needs a nap at 3 so I should leave here at 1:30 in order to get back in time for her nap. I also need to start the laundry and wash her bottles." BLAH! I don't know a lot of women who would come out and type this but I know a lot of women who know exactly what I am saying. Life just kind of comes along and crushes who you used to be in to a new mold...all the old pieces are still there but they have been turned in to something different. I know that I don't want my old life back, my life right now couldn't be better and it's all that I've ever asked for, but some nights when I'm driving alone in my car I get that feeling again, the feeling that I could take on the world. And maybe that's all I'm really missing...the naivety.

Play Groups

(our little monkey moving around in her crib)

Rachel and I hosted a play date at our house last Saturday. It was supposed to be held outside but it was already 80 degrees by the time it hit 10am. Instead, we moved the coffee table to the wall and put down a quilt in the center of the room. I think we had 9 moms and 10 children in our living room. It was a bit tight but it was fun. The babies in the group that came on Saturday range from 10 months to 2 months old. Unfortunately, Rachel was someplace in between the 2 month old and the 6 month old as far as her skills go. It's absolutely amazing how fast the "typical" kids develop. No wonder people say "enjoy them now, they grow up so fast!", because they do! These kids are already crawling around and standing and sitting easily. As much as I love this playgroup, I don't know how much longer we will be active participants of it. Very soon these babies will be moving much farther than Rachel and she will be left in their dust. It's a sad thought. She is my joy though. I told her the other day that her middle name should have been Joy instead of Jane. It fits her so much better.

(Rachel and my buddy, Jack)

Anyway, I was thinking about how sad it will be for Rachel not to have peers that are at her level anymore and I thought about starting a Ds playgroup here in town. I just didn't know how many babies were actually being born here. Then Sunday night I attended the Mom's Night Out which is hosted by the Greensboro Down syndrome group. We get together about once a month for dinner or tea or ice cream (which is what we did this night) to get out of the house and talk. It's a welcomed break for all, I think. This night three new babies attended! THREE! All boys, but it was so great to see them. Two of the moms are my age and their boys are their first child, just like Rachel. I felt like that was a sign to start the play group. So, I just need to pick a date and send out an invite with the help of the Greensboro Ds group coordinators. I know that all mothers want to feel normal. I want to have a "normal" life with my Rachel. I want play groups. I want "cutest baby" contests and sleep overs when she gets older. I want to participate in all things that parents of "normal" babies do. I also want a group where we can be ourselves and not worry about what other parents may think of our children and where they can play together on a matching level instead of worrying about milestones and ages. I really hope that other mom's will want to participate in this group. I think it will be a good thing.

It's getting easier to get her to smile for the camera!

And this is what happens when a baby outgrows her playmat...

The Rachel Video

My brother (the businessman) and my Sister-in-Law (the creative mind) have their own business. While they were here at the end of last month, they took some video of Rachel. It's been edited down and set to music. They did a FABULOUS job. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. **don't forget to turn off my music before starting the video!

A Sunday with Rachel Jane from Moho Creative on Vimeo.

Another Round of Doctor Visits

We spent the day at Brenner Children's Hospital today. First up was the follow up with her Surgeon. Rachel was in a good mood and played peek-a-boo with her blankie. She had fun trying to kick it off too.

Then she crinkled the paper on the exam table.

And played with daddy.

Dr. P. said she looked great and to come back in another three months, when she turns a year old. If all is well after that, we never had to see him again! Yay! He is a great guy but I will be happy to cross him off her list of doctors she sees regularly.

We had a little wait in between appointments and Rachel got a nap in. It was needed. She was totally out in Stephen's arms for 45 minutes.

Our next appointment was an ultrasound on her kidneys. She had one done three months ago and the doctor just wanted to see how they were doing. Then we went out to the waiting room to wait for our next doctor's appointment.

We met with the doctor after the ultrasound. As we waited, Rachel played with the paper on the exam table again.

When the doctor came in, we were told Rachel's kidneys were growing fine and that both were just about the same size. One was smaller than the other last time. She also said that there were some bright areas on them and I guess that means damage but they think it's just old damage (from the TPN) and that it will continue to get better. They put a bag on her to collect some urine but it leaked and now we have a bag here at home in case the doctor really needs a sample. Fun. Heck, we've collected poo, why not round it all out with pee? She also had some blood taken and we will hear back about that tomorrow. The woman who took her blood is a PRO. She was able to not only find a vein in Rachel's chubby arm, she didn't even make Rachel cry when she put the needle in. It was the most amazing thing I think we have ever seen!

At the end of the day, we were all tired. Rachel sacked out in the back of the car and Stephen dozed next to me as I drove us home. I am thankful we don't have another day like that for another three months.

P.S. have you noticed her tilt-a-head is back? We aren't sure what that is about but I guess more stretching is in her future. I thought we had beat it!