April 26, 2010

Choosing Thomas and Eliot

Since Rachel's birth, we've been told many times that we won the lottery when it comes to genetic disorders. And while I now see that is true, at the time of her birth nothing felt that way. I've since been drawn to the other genetic disorders, to find out more about them. Trisomy 13 ( Patau syndrome) and Trisomy 18 (Edward Syndrome) are the other two more common. When your child is diagnosed with Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) many doctors only give you the option of termination, ending the pregnancy. Usually, when you find out your baby has Down syndrome, you are already in your second trimester, you've seen the heartbeat, you've see arms and legs and movement. I would think, the thought of purposely killing your child, one who looks so normal on the ultrasound screen, wouldn't even cross your mind. But it happens every day. With syndromes like Edward and Patau, most babies do not survive. The parents are told that they may not even make it to their delivery date alive. What would you do in this situation? You have, by this time, seen your baby on the ultrasound screen, moving and kicking and heart beating. Do you choose to terminate? Because, what you've heard from the doctors is this baby will only know suffering and pain. Or do you choose to continue? To give life, or as much of a life, to this baby inside you? I want to believe that I would choose the later. Here are two stories, from two sets of parents, who chose to continue with their pregnancy, their firstborn. Please let me know your thoughts....
Choosing Thomas
99 Balloons


  1. I have to say that before Bennett and all the many blogs I follow (especially the ones that have babies with anencephaly) that I would have seriously considered terminating. And I'm pro life but if a doctor told me that my baby wouldn't live I would think well, that's the right thing to do. But after reading about how these mothers have changed and how people around them are touched by there unborn child and their story, I see the purpose of it. God has a purpose in everyone's life no matter what a doctor tells you, I feel you have to give it God and let him take care of it. So now, although it would be emotionally straining and very difficult I would not terminate. I think terminating would be 100 times worse and living with that for the rest of your life would be awful in my opinion.

  2. I read/watched both. I would like to think I would choose the later as well. After having the 2 m/cs, losing a child either way would suck. Though at least having a baby and losing it, people would acknowledge the loss. Some people don't acknowledge a m/c as a loss.

    Any way around the whole situation would suck. I don't know what I would do... besides grieve for what "could/should/would've" been.

  3. I fully believe that each life, no matter how short, has a purpose. It is not up to us to decided between life and death. Our fate lies in God's hands, and he will call us home when he is ready, whether that's 2 hours or 100 years of life here on earth. Each child born is special. As a mother, I would fight tooth and nail for my child, even if that meant I only had a few days with him or her. What an awesome story of strength and love.

  4. In my heart, I know that I would choose life... and although, I've never experienced a BFP.. I know I would choose to continue with the pregnancy, because I couldn't bring myself to donate our embryos to science research or destroy them (if we had a successful initial tranfser that resulted in multiples). I (and by I.. I do mean WE) choose to donate those embryos to an infertile couple... to give the couple a chance at parenthood and the embryos (our biological children) a chance at life. Alas, our initial transfer resulted in a BFN, and of our remaining two frozen embryos only one survived the thaw for the FET cycle, so we didn't have anything left to donate, but we would have in a heartbeat.. just as I know we would parent that child to the best of our abilities should they come into our lives. ♥

  5. My hearts breaks at ever being faced with such a choice. I could never pretend to know what I would do...it's just too much. I'm forever grateful for my healthy daughter, but my heart still aches for the baby I miscarried before her. I'm amazed at the people who choose to give birth to a child who will most likely die. They are far stronger than I!

  6. I'll have to go check those out...never read them before


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