February 18, 2010

Down syndrome and Baby Shows/Websites/Books

When I am planning something, I become obsessed. I need to learn as much about that something as I can; my wedding and cake decorating being two examples. When we decided to start trying for a baby, I started reading about it online and in books. How to track your cycles, how to know when you are ovulating and all the signs and symptoms of certain issues became second nature to me. Once I became pregnant and stayed pregnant, I turned to what happens while you are pregnant. I bought two books, was part of a message board online, and looked up endless thoughts and questions on google. I wanted to be prepared. Well, as prepared as anyone can be. I was obsessed with TV shows about being pregnant, labor and delivery. One time, Stephen told my doctor that I watched those shows and she said I shouldn't because it will make me worry. But, it was just the opposite for me. I love watching those shows because I wanted to know the worst. I wanted to know the complications, the issues, the drama that could come with giving birth. I wanted to be PREPARED! I had a general "birth plan" but I knew, from watching those shows, that nothing ever goes the way you want. So, I wasn't expecting a perfect birth. HA. I certainly didn't get it. (Unless you count the fact that Rachel lived. I guess that would make it a perfect birth.) But I digress...

Now, looking back at all the information that was out there, it stuns me that I never ONCE saw a show where the woman gave birth to a baby with Down syndrome. I mean, even the ones who refused testing and really had no idea what was going on with their baby gave birth to a "normal" child. Why is that, I wonder to myself. Why, do they not show babies like Rachel on TV or talk about them on the What To Expect website or give more information in baby books? Why is anything about Down syndrome shoved to the back of the book, restricted to the "special concerns section" on the website, not shown on TV? Do they think Down syndrome will hurt people or upset them to see "that kind" of baby anymore than seeing a woman losing her baby's heart beat and being rushed for an emergency C-section or a woman who's baby doesn't breath after birth? IT IS THE MOST COMMON GENETIC "DISORDER". Why isn't there more out there?

Well, I only have one answer. People are scared. They can take the C-section, the heart rate drops and the eclampsia as long as they get their perfect baby in the end. So much so that when given the option of having their baby with Down syndrome or aborting, they chose the later in the majority of cases.

I have to say that Down syndrome has become my next plan. My next obsession. I feel it in my heart, burning, to reach as many people as possible, show them my Rachel, and ask them...

"Is this what you are afraid of?"


  1. Have you seen this post? :-) Absolutely beautiful.


  2. I think she is so precious! Look at those little cheeks! I know I say it every time but I want to pinch them! And kiss them! The little strawberry outfit is so cute. The girls had a cherry one. I LOVE the "shoes" on it.

    My sister's best friend's little sister (geesh) has Down Snyd. and her parents have said she was truly a blessing. She is also VERY funny! They were trying to make her exercise doing a video tape and they came in and she was watching it instead of doing it. She looked at them and said "If you don't mind, I would rather just be fat." Look at the laughter they would have missed had they chose to terminate.

    I think Rachel is truly a blessing and I hope she brings you both a ton of happiness and funny comments to share with us.

  3. Your Rachel is PERFECT... and she is a blessing for you and everyone around her..
    Have you read "The Memory Keeper's Daughter"?...if not, please do! such an amazing book!
    ..and you're right... having had a sister with mental retardation, I always wonder the same thing...why doesn't anyone talk about this?

  4. What a great post Mags!! And so true!!
    Rachel is adorable and so sweet and special to so many people. I can only hope that our kids will grow up to be as great of friends as we are!! And you need to let me know when you get back when I can come and visit!! Hopefully this time there won't be any setbacks and I can meet the sweetie!!! Have a great weekend at home!!

  5. Your little Rachel is so cute! Like you, I became obsessed with all things Down syndrome when Eon came on the scene a year ago. Thankfully, the quest for information has slowed, but the need to advocate burns as strongly as ever. I love the passion his extra chromosome has given me! :)


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