December 14, 2010

Preemie Pants

Stephen and I set out and decorated our tree tonight. Since he'll be leaving right after the new year we didn't go as all out as usual but the house still looks good. While rummaging through the ornaments I came upon a plastic bag with something wrapped in it. I opened it up and found a pair of brown preemie pants by Carter's. Wow. A pair of Rachel's preemie pants. I thought I donated all but one outfit but here are a pair staring me in the face like a Christmas present. This little gift made me cry. Here we are just about to celebrate a new year and memories from two Septembers ago are still popping up in the strangest places. Holding those pants really tugged at my heart and reinforced how lucky we are to have each other. I'm going to keep those pants. I think I'm going to tuck them back inside the Christmas decorations so I can be surprised by them again next year. A sweet little reminder of the delicate boundary between life and loss.


  1. I did the same thing this year. I packed up christmas last year knowing it was Reese's last Christmas. This year I cried when hanging his ornaments on the tree. Then Kristin saw the tree, walked over and grabbed Reese's ornament and kissed it. I cried. I miss my buddy.

    I got ornaments for our 2 m/cs. I hang them on the tree, reminds me of how lucky I am now.

    I like the idea of tucking it in the box and finding them next year.

  2. Awww. So sweet to find such an unexpected treasure. I will still have the occasional sudden memory, 4 years later. A smell. The way the clouds look. Winter is always so bittersweet for me, thinking back to how awful our winter in PICU was, and yet so thankful that she's here and she's healthy and she's destroying my house, one cabinet at a time. Because it could have happened so differently. Blessed.


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